Listen to your partner. Don’t interrupt them when they’re speaking; just shut up and listen. Learn nondefensive listening. Look at the person you’re talking with. Watch their body language. Clarify what the other person is saying. Repeat back

(paraphrase) what you heard. “It seems to me that you’re saying . . .” Try to understand your partner’s feelings. Try to draw out their feelings. “How did you feel when . . . ?” Give them feedback. T‘y not to get defensive. It’s better to ask than to assume that you’re being blamed. “Are you blaming mefor . . . ?”

Avoid blame statements. Avoid “you are” statements. It’s not fair to say, “You’re feeling this way.” It’s better to use your interpretation, for example, “You look angry.” Avoid words like “should,” “ought,” and “must.” “You should feel” is doubly unfair.

Use plenty of “I feel’’ statements. “I feel as if you’re blaming me.” State your feelings and the cause. “I feel angry because you didn’t do the dishes.” Give yourself time to feel your feelings and take time to examine your feelings. Give your partner time and space to “feel” their feelings too.

Respect your partner. Treat them with high regard.

I also read a number of books on relationships. One was His Needs, Her Needs (Harley 1986), and it was a real eye-opener. I learned that everyone has needs in a relationship, and that men’s needs are different from women’s needs. Harley said that it’s important to understand your needs in a relationship, and although needs will be different from person to person, most men typically have the same five needs, and most women typically have the same five needs.

For women

affection
conversation
honesty and openness
financial support
family commitment
(in that order).

For men :
sexual fulfillment
recreational companionship
attractive spouse
domestic support
admiration (in that order).
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Personal note about above text, Of course this is just a general guide line, on the basic needs of men & women, noone can say exactly what the needs of another person are, and he admits that his personal needs are a mixture of both.. me personaly am about the same way, and with some of the same items listed above in a slite different order, and "addition" of a few more of my own,, (dont think im going to list them here for everyone do ya?? heehee)